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This guy is not a pimp, nor is he “pimping.” Pimps are parasitic rapists that turn desperate drug addicts into slaves and then beat them up. This is a sharply dressed old dude that understands being a grown-up is about having class and decorum no matter where you are or what you’re doing.
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Finally, the Women’s Studies department has agreed on the most acceptable way to approach a woman: Dress yourself up as an androgynous Christmas present that cries hearts and only talks about surprise parties.
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HAIRY PIZZAS
Interview With My Mast-o-Dad
DOS & DON'TS COMPETITION
One time, me and my cousins were in Hawai...
CRUST NEVER SLEEPS
Gallhammer = Crust Punk Wank Fantasy
BEATS AND RHYMES
FRITZ LE CHAT'S 5TH ANNUAL RAP AWARDS<...






It’s awesome how this guy is the king at Gavin Brown’s in Manhattan, then becomes a laughing stock if he goes to a smaller town like Philly, but then becomes one of the guys again if he gets as far as some tiny town like Teays Valley, West Virginia.
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KOBE BRYANT iPOD CASE
Jesse, I have nothing to say about this. You got anything? Please make sure you put something else here and this paragraph doesn’t go to print or we will look like complete fucking idiots. Got it?
PS: I’m horny. What did you do last night?

CANNED PHOQUE
You’re not allowed to say “fuck” on CBC Radio, but on French stations like Radio Canada they can say phoque all they want. Qu’est-ce que fuck avec that?

MUSLIM KEY CHAIN
“I bought this in a fundamentalist hardcore Muslim carpet-praying store on Bricklane in London. I just walked on in with my red high-heels and couldn’t resist it because it’s so hypocritical. On the back of each key holder you can read the deep Muslim spiritual meaning of each name.”
ASHLEY NORRIS



RURAL ART
Going to garage sales in the middle of nowhere is a stark reminder of just how bored and horny you get living in the country.

BAG OF WINGS
At the Magic Wings Butterfly Conservatory and Garden in western Mass. they have a lot of wings piling up all over the place, so they put them in bags and sell them for $5.00.

SWASTIKA ANKLE BRACELET
They sell these to white tourists in Thailand and pretend it’s from the old Buddhist meaning, but that’s totally made-up because Buddhists never wore bracelets like this.
MINIATURE GLASS SKULL
“My big brother made this by taking a cheap plastic skull and pushing it into a glass mold and then pouring in the glass.”
WENDY COHEN

NEW ORLEANS VOODOO DOLL
We got this voodoo doll in New Orleans and they tried to freak us out by pointing out it contains human hair and we had to break it to them that voodoo, ghosts, elves, monsters, and gnomes is for stupid people and/or babies.

BAMBOO PAPER CLIPS
“I got my visa paperwork stuck together with these when I flew in to the capital of Fiji, Suva. The customs agent had a grocery bagful, so I asked for a bunch. This was only a few years ago, by the way.”
TAMMY KONKLE

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