Most pubs (except for Irish pubs — avoid at all cost) will serve a reasonable meal. At Waldorf, the cook plays nice records after the kitchen closes and they serve a good pasta. ‘Skek and Dulac give a large discount to students. Former colonies have provided us with good, cheap places to eat. Surinam food (roti) or Indonesian food (gado-gado) is really tasty. If you are extremely low on cash, visit squatted restaurants such as Peper or MKZ (count on a punk to name a restaurant after hoof and claw disease) where they serve pretty good vegan food, and where the percentage of smelly Baltic squatters with dogs is fairly low.
Hans Brinker seems to be the best hostel. If that is full, Noodlanding! in the Paradiso (Wednesdays and Thursdays) is a popular student pick–up point. Dress casually and don’t be too eager. At 2 AM everyone — including you — will be shitfaced enough to get things going naturally. Alternative locations to find students to go home with are Meander (on Mondays beer is 60 cents!), Dansen Bij Jansen (Tuesdays), Melkweg (Saturdays) and Sugar Factory (Sundays). Just remember to check their age — you don’t want to have breakfast with their parents the next morning, right?
By far the best place to drink coffee is the Latei on the Zeedijk. Everything in this tiny spot is for sale (all old junk) and their eggs with melted cheese are perfect for a hangover. Visit the Jordaan area for the typical Amsterdam shops. Laura Dols is the best in classic vintage, along with Lady Day. Zipper is good for accessories and Episode is great for people gay enough to still be into new rave. Oh, and if you must, Tweede Kamer has the best weed.
Bars where you’ll find the student crowd are Weber, the Buurvrouw, and Bep. The mother of all student hangouts, though, is the Kriterion — a movie theatre and bar run entirely by students (which explains the slow service). It has a great atmosphere, good art house films and booze is cheap. For good concerts or low-key clubbing check out what’s playing at Paradiso, Melkweg, Bitterzoet and The Sugar Factory.
AVA MEES LIST
Barcelona is well-known for its cuisine, but we doubt you´d afford Ferran Adriá´s overpriced menu at his gastro paradise El Bulli. Try to avoid the typical tourist traps: you´ll be safe by picking any tapas bar far from the Ramblas and main plazas. The best option is the Qu Qu (Quasi Queviures) in Passeig de Grácia. Most restaurants serve reasonably priced menus at noon.
There are loads of hostels and cheap hotels in the city centre, but if you come with a few friends you might as well rent an apartment; it’ll be cheaper and nicer and you might even get one with a terrace to enjoy the sun. If you travel alone, you should stay at one of the popular student hostels like Kabul (okay, not a comforting name, but it´s the most famous of all) at Plaza Reial.
Although most traditional bars are disappearing to favour spots for wine-drinking wankers in suits, you can still find the real thing hidden in the least expected corners of the city. Bar Marsella is a must-see. It´s a bit of a shithole but Picasso and Hemingway used to booze at this place that opened in 1820, so go take a look. Absinth is still served the traditional way and each glass is only, like, three euros so you have to try it. If you are feeling a bit more adventurous, head to Horta´s Labyrinth, a huge maze that was used for shooting some scenes in the film version of Perfume. If you want to do some shopping, go to Calle Riera Baixa, in the heart of El Raval, where you can get lots of good secondhand clothes and other shit.
Getting into clubs for free is easier than you might think — just check out the amount of flyers in every clothes shop, bar and trendy restaurant. There´s a legion of small clubs around the centre; some of the best are Fonfone, Club 13 and Sidecar. We did Vice Kills earlier this year at the last two venues and we had fun. City Hall is one of the most prestigious nightclubs in town, with nights hosted by techno dudes Christian Smith, Marco Carola and Paco Osuna, and it´s just a few steps off Plaza Catalunya. If clubs aren´t your thing then you can get really, really drunk at skaters’ den Bar Manolo where a glass of wine is only one euro.
CECILIA HERNANDO
You can get good meals almost anywhere in the centre of the city. A classic place is Vietnamese restaurant Da Kao, which combines lousy decor with some of the cheapest prices in town. You’ll find a Flemish crowd at cultural centre De Markten. When you find yourself drunk and all alone at 3 AM, get a “mitraillette” (French for “machine gun”, a sandwich made of beef, chips and mayo) at Fritland and take it to the stairs of the Beurs. Gather with the Palestinian protestors, sit back and watch people fight.
So if you spend 30 minutes looking up hostels online, you’ll almost certainly end up sleeping somewhere in the “heart of the historical centre”. This also means you’ll be a walking distance from Adolphe Maxlaan, home of Brussels’ finest titty bars. You know you’re an idiot when you book a hostel with a curfew. In that case, buy yourself some of Gordon’s Finest Gold in one of the many night shops and help the homeless at Fortis Bank insult your fellow tourists. Get acquainted with a middle-aged cross-dresser who will teach you things you never thought you’d be taught. Try to hold him tight when he finally drifts off to sleep.
Places to have a drink, read a Russian novel and look cute are the cafés at the Sint- Goriksplein (Le Roi des Belges, Mappa or Bizon will do) or perhaps Belga, the stylish bar at the bottom of Flagey. Slightly more expensive but well worth it is Archiduc. Check out the cool record shops in the Beurs area to find that Joe Meek b-side you’ve been after for years.
So you want to pick up a local or fellow visitor while you’re here? Don’t worry, you’ll find them totally wasted and ready to be chatted up at the Celtica on Friday night. The daily happy hour there usually does the trick. The same vibe can be continued in MP3 Bar and Boca Loca. For advanced partying check out Fuse for techno and Mirano for house music and loads of other stuff. The Beursschouwburg programs beats and soundscapes by nerds with laptops. People into electro should turn to Recyclart to get their groove on. Concerts can be enjoyed at AB or Botanique.
BENJAMIN SPRENGERS
Ask any self-respecting carnivore what to eat in Rio, and they’ll tell you about the rodizios. A rodizio is more than just a meal, it’s an elaborate battle of wits between you and the doe-eyed service staff, as they waft meat under your nose. You indicate your desire to stick or twist with a doublesided card; green meaning “feed me” and red meaning “get away from me, peasant.” Also, when in Rio, don’t forget to find a juice bar, and ask for an açai smoothie. It might look like something Barney the Dinosaur would leave in the toilet, but the Amazonian berries served with ice eradicate all traces of a hangover you got from drinking too much Brahma beer in approximately 30 seconds.
For a true carioca sleeping experience, head in search of the notorious love motels. Paid by the hour, motels are as ubiquitous and well-frequented as churches, with each one even given an individual star rating for their level of service. For a dollar or two per hour, you get your bog-standard plastic sheets and herpes on tap, but if you want to quite literally splash out, the five-star deluxe motels have heart-shaped water beds, sex harnesses, a hot-tub fit for a futebol team and gimp-suits on room service.
Forget hanging out, spend as much time and money as you can buying as much cheap tat as you can get. It’s best to avoid the enormous identikit shopping malls, and take to the streets if you want some weird stuff. Also, look out for the dudes selling racks of bootleg funk carioca CDs. The thrift shops of Lapa are the place to go for the Bonde Do Role look. You can also put together a nice collection of vintage Playboys, which, if you’re lucky, will have had just one careful owner.
In the south zone, there’s a small handful of underground clubs, such as Moo, Dama De Ferro and Fosfobox where you can join an invariably tattooed and bisexual crowd in watching big name DJs or, if you’re really lucky, Madoninha. She’s a blonde dwarf who sings literally translated renditions of Madge classics, such as “Como uma virgem. Oh!” If you want to learn more about “ginga”, the fluidity and movement of Brazil, watch the short film Movimento at brahma.com
KASPAR SCHADENFREUDE
Östermalms korvspecialist (known to locals as “Bruno’s”) is one of the sausage kiosks in the city. Go here if you like sausages. Max serves Swedish American fast food at its best, so most visitors love it. If you’re the biggest cheapo in the universe you can bring your own glass and you’ll be able to steal soda — it’s self-service. Jazz music and brunch are both acquired tastes, but if you like them go to Mosebacke. Then continue to Garlic & Shots, which is a bar full of bikers, tattoo artists and kids on a budget.
If you’re cheap but still want to feel classy there are a couple of weird youth hostels where you can snag single or double rooms if you’re early. You could also try Af Chapman, which is a 100-year-old sailing ship with 136 beds, located on a tiny, green island smack bang in the middle of the city. The Långholmen Prison Youth Hostel is another cheap place with a twist.
If you need a tattoo, Infamous is a good choice. Ask for Jenny, who will tell you good stories about her part-time job as a stripper. Nostalgipalatset is good for buying vinyl records, and Johan, who sorts out the “Recently in” box, has great taste in music. Loyal is a gallery with art that is actually relevant and exciting. You won’t be able to afford to buy anything, but tell them you’re friends of Vice and maybe they’ll give you booze. If you’re absolutely skint you can read comics from all over the world for free at Serieteket. Also try out the Centralbadet steam sauna. It’s mixed so keep your towel on or sturdy women will yell you off in Swedish.
Landet used to be Dungen’s regular spot. There’s a progressive art school next door so if you like girls that are scruffy and easy this is your place. People flock to Ugglan because they have bowls and ping-pong and The Concretes are practically residents. If you prefer karaoke, Snövit is good on Saturdays, but the main music place in town is Debaser. Spy Bar is where everyone goes because it’s one of the few late spots. It’s not cheap, but the line for the bar will be so long you won’t be able to order anything anyway. Other late places in which to drink yourself into a coma are Berns and Teatron.
ELIN UNNES
