Look at Smiles here swaying back and forth in his nautical shirt like a spoiled brat from the 1920s. Where’s the oversized lollipop and the hat with the propeller, Timmy? Shit. Not even dental technicians with “Laugh Love Live” jigsaw puzzles on their arms can handle it.
Did you ever go to Niagara Falls and think, "What if you weren't a tourist here and you actually lived here and were really patriotic about your hometown and went to Purple Hawks games and went to the falls every day with your androgynous wife?" Stop. It's too sad.
