Photos: Frank Kalero



a Corée du Nord, un des derniers bastions du socialisme pur et dur, est confrontée depuis plusieurs années à une grave crise économique qui a entraîné une famine faisant des millions de victimes. Même si le pays a survécu grâce à des dons de la Chine et de la Corée du Sud, le régime militaire n’est toujours pas prêt à lâcher du lest. Un quart du PIB de la Corée du Nord sert encore à entretenir la plus grosse armée au monde (proportionnellement à sa population). D’après Amnesty International, 37% des enfants nord-coréens souffraient de malnutrition, en 2006. Pour faire face à cette situation désastreuse, le chef de l’État, Kim Jong-il, n’a rien trouvé de mieux que de se lancer dans le nucléaire. La nation entière a célébré le premier essai de la bombe atomique. Malheureusement, les déchets nucléaires ne sont pas comestibles. Mais, Kim et ses comparses ont peut-être trouvé une solution. Ils ont décidé de contacter le champion allemand de l’élevage de lapins géants, Karl Szmolinsky, qu’ils ont sans doute découvert sur le Net, comme nous. Nous sommes allés trouver Karl et ses lapins mutants pour avoir le fin mot de l’histoire.

Vice: Qu’est-ce qui vous a amené à élever des lapins?

Karl Szmolinsky:
J’ai découvert le Riesen allemand, mon lapin de prédilection, en 1964, dans un concours. Ils ont un bon squelette et un beau physique. J’ai acheté une femelle et quatre petits et depuis, je suis éleveur. À l’époque, un lapin de 6 kg, personne n’y croyait. Mais mon club et moi, on l’a fait. L’année prochaine, ils vont limiter le poids à 13,75 kg en compétition. Je les comprends. Les juges ont environ soixante-dix lapins à examiner, ça finit par peser.

Qu’est-ce qui fait un winner?

Le poids, la posture, la longueur des oreilles et les proportions de sa tête. Les juges regardent s’il n’y pas de défauts, comme un pénis protubérant. Les lapins doivent avoir des anneaux noirs au sommet des oreilles. Mais ça essaye toujours de tricher. Un gars a fait teindre les oreilles de son lapin par sa copine coiffeuse, mais ça a coulé sur les mains des juges. Il a été interdit de compétition pendant deux ans.

Comment vous faites pour faire autant grossir vos lapins?

Chacun a sa propre technique. Mon ami Siegfried leur donne des haricots, même si je lui dis qu’ils ne grossiront jamais avec ça. Moi, je leur donne toutes sortes de choses, mais toujours du bio. Je leur fais la cuisine aussi. Trois fois par semaine, je leur cuisine un petit repas avec beaucoup de légumes. Les herbes sont essentielles pour les protéger des maladies intestinales. Ils gonflent en une nuit et le lendemain, ils sont morts.

Et les Nord-Coréens, qu’est-ce qu’ils viennent faire là-dedans?

Un jour, le président de mon club m’a dit que les Nord-Coréens voulaient m’acheter un ou deux Riesen. Comme je m’en étais mis quelques-uns de côté pour Noël, j’ai dit d’accord. L’ambassade de Corée du Nord m’a demandé s’ils pouvaient venir voir mes lapins. Deux semaines plus tard, des gens de l’ambassade se sont présentés à ma porte. Il y avait aussi leur ministre de l’Agriculture. Il n’arrêtait pas de répéter: «Riesen… Riesen, 11 kg, 11 kg!» C’est tout ce qui comptait. Ils ont dit qu’ils me prenaient les six plus gros, dont mon champion, Robert. Je leur ai fait un prix parce qu’ils m’ont dit que c’était pour la bonne cause. Ils allaient utiliser mes lapins pour nourrir les enfants affamés de leur pays. Je leur ai aussi offert un livre sur l’élevage des lapins. C’était une erreur.

Pourquoi? Qu’est-ce qu’il s’est passé?

Un mois plus tard, les lapins sont partis pour la Corée du Nord. On a essayé de savoir s’ils étaient bien arrivés, mais personne ne répondait à nos coups de fil. Ensuite, ils m’ont dit qu’ils les avaient mis dans un musée. Ça m’a paru un peu bizarre. Ils m’ont dit qu’ils n’avaient plus besoin de moi car ils avaient bien étudié mon livre mais qu’ils allaient quand même me faire venir chez eux pour superviser l’élevage qu’ils étaient en train de construire. J’étais fou de joie. Je vis dans la même petite ville depuis toujours, je n’ai jamais quitté le pays. Mais le jour précédent mon départ, j’ai reçu un coup de fil, à 5 h du matin. «Herr Szmolinsky, nous n’avons plus besoin de vous. Nous contrôlons la situation.» J’ai essayé de joindre l’ambassade, mais dès que je disais mon nom, on me raccrochait au nez. La chaîne de télévision ZDF devait faire un film sur moi. Mais les Nord-Coréens m’ont dit que sans visa, ils ne nous laisseraient pas entrer dans le pays. Et puis on n’a plus jamais entendu parler d’eux.

Et vous avez eu des nouvelles de vos lapins depuis?

Quelques semaines plus tard, un journaliste m’a appelé de Londres. Il rentrait des célébrations organisées pour l’anniversaire de Kim Jong-il. Il m’a dit qu’il avait vu mes lapins et reconnu Robert. On les a servis à la table du dirigeant et de ses invités. Tout ça n’était qu’un piège, je m’en rends compte aujourd’hui. Ils ont envoyé leur ministre et inventé ces histoires pour me rouler, juste pour organiser un bon gueuleton pour leur chef. Les hommes politiques sont tous des bandits. Je ne les laisserai plus jamais approcher mes lapins.

Vous avez eu d’autres propositions?

Le ministre camerounais de l’Agriculture est venu me rendre visite. Il voulait faire de l’élevage pour combattre la famine, mais ça n’aurait jamais marché. Il fait trop chaud pour les lapins là-bas. En ce moment, je suis en pleine négociation avec les Chinois. Eux, je veux bien leur vendre. L’ami d’un gars que je connais avait une maison là-bas et il a dit que ça ressemblait beaucoup à l’Occident, pas comme la Corée du Nord.

INTERVIEW: TOM LITTLEWOOD


COMMENTS
Subject: rabbit! Huge...
Date: Nov 17 2007 10:11:05 AM
Author: yesper

Yeah! Today, when I was downtown Oslo, I spotted this huge red rabbbit at Stortorget. Whats it all about? I will try and find out, but if anyone knows, please let us know...




Subject: huge rabbit in Oslo
Date: Nov 17 2007 09:46:37 AM
Author: byfoten

It seems that Norway is thinking the same way as North-Korea. Yesterday I was going to the cinema and I saw this gigantic red rabbit on a place called Egertorget. I had just read the article in Vice about mr.huge-rabbits.man, and it made me think that maybe we should start eating rabbits as well.
Some time ago Oslo had hundreds of rabbits on an island called Gressholmen. Kids were feeding and hugging them. Than the government decided to remove the rabbits. Are they coming back as burgers? The big red city rabbit stood close to a burger-shop.
I dont know, but that rabbit is the



Subject: Giant Rabbits
Date: Oct 23 2007 08:58:16 AM
Author: MIke

Giant Rabbits! Who Knew??? Silently, in medium sized cities and large towns, there has been an entire giant rabbit SCENE. I suspected as much.



Subject: What to feed the giant rabbits?
Date: Oct 21 2007 04:15:48 PM
Author: Mr.Black

You know, when I read about this little exchange to North Korea a while ago in the paper, the obvious problem of logistics came up - to raise a giant rabbit, you gotta feed it much more food than you get out of it. There's just no way you're gonna feed a nation of people (even tiny, slender Asian people) with giant rabbits. So I knew something was up.

I thought, maybe this has something to do with KJ-Illll's obsession with American TV and Bugs Bunny, but now it's all clear - he just wanted to eat one. Or maybe they just couldn't split up the bunnies into enough pieces.



Subject: Giant Rabbits & North Korea
Date: Oct 08 2007 08:37:14 PM
Author: Michele

Karl should never have trusted these people. They not only butcher animals, but also believe that torturing or beating them improves the taste. I doubt that Karl had any true feelings for Robert, but if he did, I hope his thoughts torment him! We can solve the food shortage in the world by putting our resources to better use than raising animals for food. People should consider the vegetarian way.



Subject: Eating and Breeding Rabbits: WW2
Date: Oct 08 2007 04:12:24 AM
Author: Aine

Has anyone here defending the pet rights of rabbits ever actually eaten one or lived somewhere where the rabbits WERE raised for food? Because my mom did that as a kid and as she explains: You love the mommy and the daddy rabbit. The babies were for eating.
Or growing and eating etc.
During World War 2, breeding rabbits at home was the protein that kept several English city families from starving. Literally Starving!
And That's what we're talking about in North Korea: Literal Starvation.

So I understand the fellow's disappointment at Robert's death: these



Subject: Giant Rabbits to feed Korea
Date: Oct 07 2007 07:57:11 PM
Author: Colleen

Another sickening story about the exploitation of these beautiful, affectionate little animals....Karl, wake up and stop eating your rabbits and stop sending them to Korea or wherever....what do you think they wanted them for? I would give anything to own one of these darling creatures to love and share my home with. And to "Marsypoo" from an earlier post, You sound about as intelligent as your name suggests! And that goes for the other equally dumblame brains who posted equally dumb comments!



Subject: Sickos
Date: Oct 07 2007 05:29:36 PM
Author: Elly Dunbar

I agree with Margaret, there's a bunch of sickos on here. Rabbits are beautiful, intelligent animals that make wonderful pets. Some of the comments on here are really sickening.



Subject: .
Date: Oct 07 2007 04:19:28 PM
Author: ann

ive seen this guy in the papers,the breed of rabbit is continental giant for those who are wondering they are that big its not due to feeding them up or drugs , this is the biggest breed of rabbit you can they grow up to 3ft long and can weigh anything up to 3st,i myself have 8 of these wonderful rabbits they do make great pets,i must say he has chosen the worst breed for meat production as they do cost a hell of a lot of money to feed and buy there are better breeds to choose for meat production not that i agree with what he is doing,but at the end of the day rabbits are still classed as foo



Subject: .
Date: Oct 07 2007 04:16:29 PM
Author: ann

ive seen this guy in the papers , the breed of rabbit is continental giant for those who are wondering they are that big its not due to feeding them up or drugs , this is the biigest breed of rabbit you can get growing up to 3ft long and can weigh anything up to 3st , i myself have 8 of these wonderful rabbits they do make great pets ,
but i must say he has chosen the worst breed for meat production as they do cost a hell of a lot of money to feed and buy there are better breeds to choose for meat production not that i agree with what he is doing , but at the end of the day rabbits ar



Subject: robert
Date: Oct 07 2007 03:58:09 PM
Author: margaret bradburne

anyone who owns a rabbit as a pet would know what amazing,gentle,loving,intelligent creatures they are.i'm really disgusted by some of the comments i've read,its quite obvious to me that alot of humans are of less intelligence than the average rabbit.



Subject: Sick
Date: Oct 07 2007 03:18:38 PM
Author: Ros Lamb

Does this person TRULY not know what happened to his 'samples' or is this just a ruse to gain publicity for his sick trade?



Subject: giant rabbits in North Korea
Date: Oct 07 2007 02:37:30 PM
Author: RabbitWise

Uh, Karl, you breed rabbits to butcher for meat. What in the hell did you think would happen to Robert when you shipped him off to North Korea? Are you that ignorant or are you trying to play it so you don't look like the bad guy? If you want some credibility, stop breeding rabbits and get off their backs for your profits.

RabbitWise



Subject: socialist?
Date: Oct 03 2007 02:47:45 AM
Author: chatter

'we all know that North Korea, one of the world’s last socialist strongholds...'--Tom Littlewood

north Korea is a single-party state with a stalinist, authoritarian, and totalitarian regime.



Subject: fur collars
Date: Oct 01 2007 01:33:24 PM
Author: Uncle Meat

They are looking for a cheaper source of fur to put on those cheap WalMart jakets you see the Moulinans wearing in the subway. PeTA was on thier shit because they were using DOG FUR! Fucking commies. eat me 8===D~ .



Subject: bunny!
Date: Sep 29 2007 09:51:52 AM
Author: Sofie

I want one of the rabbits as my pet! They are sooooo cute and huge!!!! Can you order one to Sweden?



Subject: lier
Date: Sep 28 2007 01:58:02 PM
Author: lying

shouldn't this have been in the "lies" issue?



Subject: bunny
Date: Sep 24 2007 02:12:57 PM
Author: le gran k

all fun and games until one of these 'bunnies' tunnels through all your luggage or bites your finger off. just a thought



Subject: kim is my homey
Date: Sep 22 2007 08:58:51 AM
Author: me

one cannot deny that kim jong il has some bizarre kind of humour. just look at the glasses he wears. this man has style!!
riesen rabbit feast for his guests!!
he kindnaps japanese soap opera actors, so they can perform only for him!!

his population is at average 20cm smaller than their southern neighbours, due to malnutrition.

by the way, zdf is not some local channel, but the german aquivalent to the british bbc, dumbass!



Subject: please
Date: Sep 21 2007 12:49:32 PM
Author: tell me

who is that girl!



Subject: Night of the Lepus
Date: Sep 21 2007 06:38:44 AM
Author: johnnyjin28

I was stationed in Germany and we would see lots of these giant rabbits hopping around in the woods, but the deer were about the size of a wippet or a greyhound, but with these HUGE antler racks! That Giant Rabbit/Tiny Deer thing never stopped being weird. Doctor Suess... That sounds German... They served them in restaurants with a mushroom sauce that made me glad they lost the war.



Subject: North Korea has the right idea
Date: Sep 20 2007 06:16:02 PM
Author: marseypoo

as a not-proud owner of a rabbit, I think Kim Jong-il has the right idea. They're not worth much anything more than to be game meat. honestly....



Subject: .
Date: Sep 19 2007 10:02:36 PM
Author: .

!!!



Subject: ROBERT!
Date: Sep 19 2007 07:42:36 PM
Author: youngblood

ROBERT NOOOOOO!!!



Subject: BUNNIES!!!
Date: Sep 19 2007 05:05:57 PM
Author: lyzz

i fucking love bunnies!! i just want to know how to get one that big!!!



Subject: Children'sTale
Date: Sep 18 2007 11:03:06 PM
Author: o-dig

This would make a really twisted children's story.
Robert was a big rabbit, robert was bought by a communist leader to feed his people. Robert wound up being the main course for the leader and everyone else starved.



Subject: ,
Date: Sep 18 2007 08:12:16 PM
Author: ,

uuuh she is hot !!!
is she german ?
and why frank kaleros website isn´t active ?



Subject: starvation
Date: Sep 18 2007 02:16:00 PM
Author: C

I thought North Koreans were starving because of an evil dictatorship, thank you for clearing that up, a.



Subject: *
Date: Sep 18 2007 09:10:49 AM
Author: dude

yeah, who's the bunny girl?



Subject: flex
Date: Sep 18 2007 08:25:58 AM
Author: Haze

I don't give a damn about these fucking rabbits, unless that's what rabbit girl is into.



Subject: at it like rabbits
Date: Sep 17 2007 08:38:01 AM
Author: Chas & Dave

Is it true that rabbit meat has no nutritional value whatsoever??



Subject: that tattoo
Date: Sep 16 2007 09:04:05 PM
Author: someone

I'm totally getting that same tattoo on my ear.



Subject: my rabbit
Date: Sep 16 2007 09:03:21 PM
Author: me

Americans tell you that places like Iraq and Afghanistan suck when they don't. But North Korea really does actually suck.

I think we should build a satellite with a big laser beam on it. Then set up a web site like Google Earth where anyone can find and laser-death people in North Korea. When we get them all we can set up a big nature reserve. We can grow Tigers and Pandas and Gorillas.



Subject: w
Date: Sep 16 2007 08:15:08 PM
Author: ww

this article was just fucking amazing.
well fuckng done.
interesting & fcking strange



Subject: .
Date: Sep 15 2007 10:43:40 AM
Author: .

Poor bastard, I know how he feels, stalin once ate my 60pound possum!!



Subject: Rabbits
Date: Sep 15 2007 02:29:20 AM
Author: taste like

chicken



Subject: dsfa
Date: Sep 15 2007 12:33:57 AM
Author: jklds

is rabbit any good?

its so weird that you can get famous from breeding giant rabbits



Subject: tell me about the rabbits george
Date: Sep 15 2007 12:01:29 AM
Author: brewmeister smith

ha..
the best part is the last line.
"i'll sell them to the chinese cause there not all fucked up like that" ha ha yeah right



Subject: hip hop
Date: Sep 14 2007 04:38:57 PM
Author: m

"after a while you know you’ve been lifting rabbits"

fuckin great. i should have gone into that shit



Subject: dfghdgdfh
Date: Sep 14 2007 04:32:50 PM
Author: esoter1c

“Herr Szmolinsky, you’re not needed anymore. We have everything under control.”

Gee, ya think there Sherlock ?

Or should I give you another Blue's Clue ?



Subject: I want a giant fucking bunny!
Date: Sep 14 2007 04:26:57 PM
Author: Dorian

Rabbits are so fucking awesome that I can't even believe it.



Subject: wowie
Date: Sep 14 2007 04:23:18 PM
Author: zowie

who's that hot rabbit girl at the top? damn gina...



Subject: kbdfklb
Date: Sep 14 2007 04:08:07 PM
Author: karasu

punk rabbit with cool tattoos



Subject: Pah, that's
Date: Sep 14 2007 03:21:06 PM
Author: nothing

my neighbours cat is fatter than that puny little rabbit.

Just feed them choclate and canned fish in oil and you can eat cats instead.



Subject: a
Date: Sep 14 2007 03:14:53 PM
Author: a

anyway north korea is starving because the u.s. won't let south korea trade with them.



Subject: d
Date: Sep 14 2007 03:11:53 PM
Author: d

damn she is hot



Subject: North Korea
Date: Sep 14 2007 03:03:14 PM
Author: Jimmy reed

Vice has become a bit North Korea heavy lately. I can understand that its a terribly fucked up place but there other things going on as well that deserve some coverage.



Subject: ...
Date: Sep 14 2007 02:52:07 PM
Author: north korea

can kiss the biggest part of my ass.



Subject: fghfghfg
Date: Sep 14 2007 02:48:17 PM
Author: dgfhfgh

I call bullshit.



Subject: abbazaba
Date: Sep 14 2007 02:45:58 PM
Author: you my only friend

North korea can blow me..



Subject: coon
Date: Sep 14 2007 02:39:39 PM
Author: Officer O\'Brien

I saw a fifty-pound raccoon once. It was fat as shit.



Subject: bugs
Date: Sep 14 2007 02:21:49 PM
Author: bunny

I've seen a rabbit that big before. truly insane.



Subject: ++
Date: Sep 14 2007 02:18:25 PM
Author: ++

North Korea is lame



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Lady, it’s time to get the FUCK out of San Francisco. I know it makes you feel progressive and modern to be surrounded by sodomites all day but you’ve become so overexposed to it you basically have a cumburn.

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Most supermodels are stupid, boring Aryan cunts. But what about when they look like Miles Davis reincarnated in the body of the new female Antichrist whose mission is to destroy all DON’Ts? We’re fastidiously matching our socks to our shirts so maybe she’ll stop staring at us like that.
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